Cookie Contests! Round 1

1: Pulse 150k+ in one day. For this to be recognized, you have to pulse on the day before, then the 150k+ has to be the next day. (For instance, pulse 17k on the 28th, then 204k on the 29th) Worth 4 cookies, can be to multiple people.

2: Spam Tass into getting FFR back up. Worth 50 cookies.

3: Convince 5 others to join WP, and get them to say so in the thread. Worth 5 cookies.

4: Work for me on this blog. Worth 1 cookie.



evilducks: 14
sellyme: 8

notverygood:8

Cj10203040: 4
Mr. Bean: 4

CiF: 3

Aiglet1: 3

HappyAlcoholic: 3

Juze: 2

Dextro53: 2

Kyru: 2
Chippy01: 2 

Cryptosporidian: 2
Sinapi: 2

Smookyolo :D: 2

Rivian: 1
Sylicas: 1
kaluzaklein: 1

GHEZ119: 1

Ult_Mac_Dady: 1
SlasherX48: 1
hokage4354: 1

AioriaRox: 1

Kralis: 1

WiiPlayer113: 1
Fushinryu: 1
TatharNuar: 1
tortao: 1
Sasms: 1
MyDreamName: 1
ChrisB5: 1
Kralis: 1
x_Pyro_x: 1
squall7775: 1
SicMirx: 1
Phoenix00017: 1
JaumeBG :): 1

Country Stats - Mar 26 2010

Place. Country - Keys (change)

1. United States - 86,568,020,698 (+159,287,883) [ED: Still first this week, but Netherlands are challenging them]
2. Netherlands - 47,325,507,577 (+122,782,572)
3. Germany - 30,874,557,361 (-50,481,615) [ED: Wow, that must be painful...]
4. Poland - 27,957,891,086 (+66,935,290)
5. United Kingdom - 20,793,660,015 (+36,736,942)
6. Canada - 18,144,593,440 (+39,724,638)
7. Australia - 11,825,166,175 (+42,397,424) [ED: Catching up slowly... 4th best country this week]
8. Chile - 11,528,924,423 (+4,123,494) [ED: How they got that high in the first place...]
9. Belgium - 11,087,283,524 (+34,008,388)
10. Sweden - 9,468,233,497 (+19,745,575)
11. Finland - 9,184,926,540 (+16,401,848)
12. Czech Republic - 8,081,414,523 (+12,327,315)
13. Estonia - 5,744,474,946 (+16,969,278)
14. Italy - 5,516,284,946 (+10,655,770)
15. Slovakia - 4,971,583,777 (+6,318,681)
16. Norway - 4,739,524,911 (+12,953,215)
17. Unknown - 4,286,495,651 (+101,351,208)
18. Hungary - 3,735,751,225 (+9,389,478)
19. Denmark - 3,583,166,382 (+9,912,089)
20. Brazil - 3,409,592,195 (+2,992,160)
21. Spain - 3,073,305,350 (+2,921,755)
22. Portugal - 2,984,707,867 (+4,629,457)
23. Bulgaria - 2,520,733,399 (+5,962,637)
24. France - 2,414,242,987 (+5,903,873)

Battling for the front page...
25. Malaysia - 2,336,724,475 (+677,477) [ED: Come on! I could do that in a week, let alone a whole country!!!]
26. New Zealand - 2,252,896,746 (+6,719,195)
27. Romania - 2,096,676,009 (+9,220,818)

Kongregate has over taken 1 team this week.
GO GO GO TEAM TOP 25.

Kongrats and Welcomes in order.

Kongratulations to Kongregate for just overtaking Nipponsei for 65th place in the team standings.


Also, let's all welcome JaumeBG, our newest writer for Kongpulse.

Head to Head. Yes, sexual jokes galore.

Here is the first draw of matches. (Yes, some were chosen randomly, don't argue :P)

sellyme vs. the_squall/squall7775

notverygood vs. HappyAlcoholic

JaumeBG vs. Sinapi

DarkRuler2005/Mr. Bean vs. Nab :P/Nabb

Yeah, that last one will be a ripper. So, here are the current standings.

Sellyme: 4,643,386
the_squall: 5,164,236

notverygood: 2,067,519
HappyAlcoholic: 3,969,196

Sinapi: 5,202,703
JaumeBG: 1,103,479
DarkRuler2005: 49,792,158
Nabb: 48,858,403

Ready... Set... TYPE!

Team Stats Mar 24 2010

63. Gamerz-Planet These 114 Gamerz, after developing their own planet, have pressed 652,633,973 keys. These elite gamerz make up 0.17% of all WP keys.
64. Cyberscore These cyberscorers (o_O) are 119 in number, and have scored 633,377,798 keys for their team. Despite claiming to NOT be a dating service, they hold 0.17% of all members.
65. Nipponsei These.... nipponers have silenced the nay-sayers and contributed 615,301,359 keys. The 99 sparse members represent 0.16% of the WP typing.
66. Kongregate These marvellously grand gamers are 254 in number, and have gamed (or chatted) their way to a total of 614,742,430 keys. These grand Kongregators are accountable for 0.16% of all the keyspam we call WP.
67. Tlen.pl are mainly a proud bunch of Polish, and have given to us 607,632,363 Polish keys. These 126 Polish make up 0.16% of keys in the WP project.
68. Lusternia These 85... people have lusted their way through 604,636,312 keys. They make up (perhaps literally) 0.16% of the "Whatpulse Quantum"
69. L33TSig These people have L33TSig'd their way to a grand total of 602,218,915 keys. These 197 Siggers make up 0.16% of all keys.

Kongregate has over taken two teams this week, and now sit at 66th. Go team!

User of the Week #4: the_squall/squall7775

Q: How did you think up your name?

A: Well, some people know me as squall7775. That is also my Xbox Live gamer tag. People would just call me squall or the squall on there so Kong the_squall came to be.

Q: How do you manage to consistently pulse just before sellyme gets in front of you, do you stalk him or something?

A: Not entirely. I learned from a mistake of losing 4,000,000 WhatPulse Keys to pulse more often. I guess I just type so much that I somehow manage to always get in front of him.

Q: What does it feel like to be JUST in front of the Kongpulse co-ordinator?

A: Well, I suppose it can be quite intimidating? I never know if they are going to just get angry at me for always pulsing and somehow managing to slip ahead of them time after time. To those who pick out the music reference, kudos.

 Q: Why are you awesome?

A: I’m asked this time and time again. I only really wish I knew the answer. I tend to just be myself and chill. I guess people think that’s pretty awesome.

Q: Apart from you, who do you think is the best Kong WP user?

A: I thought Ducklette was a pretty great Kong WP user. She had some really fast movement in the ranks. And yes, that’s what she did say

Q: What is your main WP goal?

A: I don’t really feel like I have a main goal with WhatPulse. I just like to type often and keeping track of it makes it all the more fun, I suppose. If I’d have to give an actual goal it would be to reach 100,000,000 keys.

Q: Why and when did you join WP?

A: I joined WhatPulse because a friend sent it to me via MSN. I took a few looks over it and decided it was interesting enough to download to my laptop. I think I was correct because now I’m part of the Kongregate  WhatPulse community! The date I joined was 2009-08-25.

Q: Is the cake a lie?

A: Well, it’s debatable. But, I’d have to go with the cake is probably a lie.

Q: Any tips?

A: Just be true to yourself. If you aren’t yourself then who are you? Sorry I don’t really have any tips for the WP’ers out there! It’s just too hard to think of tips on how often to type.

Zzzzzz..... Wai wut?

Oh teh noez, another blog update.

Colin 5,377,350
Smookyolo :D 5,940,853
Xestrix 2,182,607
ImmortalItalian 2,649,285
Nab =P (F) 48,815,319
Travuersa 10,813,472
Pereking 7,118,805
hokage4354 2,651,235
123aaa789 1,790,315
Beccala 1,789,592
Phoenix00017 6,039,095
kaluzaklein 2,490,000
laxluvergall 2,549,636
Bephwyn 1,792,022
Sukasai 3,566,675
aenh 9,814,883
phoexo 7,649,685
gimsily 2,659,686
Cryptosporidian 5,583,622
notverygood 2,045,053
Chippy01 6,120,342
MossyStump 1,777,601
trebach 2,363,812
Ducklette 3,101,621
Kioyoh 2,300,000
Nick19038 5,331,841
squall7775 4,957,840
Agent_86 2,419,313
resterman 2,231,874
Cj10203040 2,848,996
Sasms 2,397,693
blood18 1,990,451
AlisonClaire 2,710,467
Dextro53 2,839,500
nadroj09 2,633,432
neotype 8,379,921
SicMirx 2,249,998
sellyme 4,443,386
moses78 2,095,592
iamacow 2,059,734
TatharNuar 24,986,300
ChrisB5 1,997,750
LiveeEevil 1,914,227
Rivian 20,358,754
Thysiazo 1,723,444



I totally give up. This is taking up at least 4 hours every day. From now on I have a much better idea. I'm basically just going to do the Top 150 users in a list like the team page, showing how far up/down they've gone, so you can get a REAL indication of how you're going. Well, now I can do this realisticly though.

Mondays: Up/Down Top 150
Tuesdays: User of the Week.
Wednesdays: Team stats.
Thursday: PvP battle
Friday: Country stats
Saturday: Cookie Contests


Okay, no subteams, no Top 10 users each week. All that is gone unfortunately. However I will have cookie contests every week, so you still have an oppurtunity.

User of the Week tomorrow appears to be squall! But if you're lucky you might get it today.

Go Team Kongregate!

Kongregate has just overtaken Team Lusternia for 67th place, and we're not too far from 66th. Let's try and get on the front page by the end of the year, m'kay?

Country Stats 19 March

Two days late, I know. Sorry.

Rank. Country - Keys (change)

1. United States - 86,408,732,815 (-146,005,957)
2. Netherlands - 47,202,725,005 (+261,500,711)
3. Germany - 30,925,038,976 (-12,515,881)
4. Poland - 27,890,955,796 (+61,150,884)
5. United Kingdom - 20,756,923,073 (+24,785,736)
6. Canada - 18,104,868,802 (+18,288,718)
7. Australia - 11,782,768,751 (+6,857,607)
8. Chile - 11,524,800,929 (-3,928,857)
9. Belgium - 11,053,275,136 (+25,957,955)
10. Sweden - 9,448,487,922 (+19,707,039)
11. Finland - 9,168,524,692 (-24,942,436)
12. Czech republic - 8,069,087,208 (+15,842,266)
13. Estonia - 5,727,505,668 (+14,939,663)
14. Italy - 5,505,629,176 (+1,533,920)
15. Slovakia - 4,965,265,096 (+6,867,926)
16. Norway - 4,726,571,696 (+8,702,940)
17. Unknown - 4,185,144,443 (+121,263,461)
18. Hungary - 3,726,361,747 (+8,592,963)
19. Denmark - 3,573,254,293 (+4,862,498)
20. Brazil - 3,406,600,035 (+1,103,176)
21. Spain - 3,070,383,595 (+1,642,242)
22. Portugal - 2,980,078,410 (-12,230,676)
23. Bulgaria - 2,514,770,762 (+6,905,240)
24. France - 2,408,339,114 (+3,615,623)

Battling for the front page..

25. Malaysia - 2,336,047,028 (N/A)
26. New Zealand - 2,246,177,551 (N/A
27. Romania - 2,087,455,191 (N/A)

Blame computer problems for all the N/A. Sorry, again.

Kongregate has over taken two teams this week. GO TEAM!

YAY!!!!!

Kongregate is now beating L33tSig for 68th place by exactly 1 key. Yes, I pulsed that number deliberately :P

Team Stats March 17th 2010

66th - Tlen.pl
This team has 126 members who have collectively pressed 607,513,434 keys.

67th - Lusternia
This team has 85 members who have put forward a total of 604,588,068 keys.

68th - L33TSig
This team has 197 members who have contributed 601,275,641 keys.

69th - Kongregate (GO GO GO FAVORITISM)
This (wonderful) team has 250 (awesome) members who have (magnificently) given 600,937,600 keys.

70th - MapleTip.com
This team has 113 members who have productively contributed 593,764,940 keys.

71st - Imperian
This team has 100 members who have manufactured 585,834,798 keys.

72nd - Brasil
This team has 102 members who have given us 565,004,368 keys.

Wut update?

Updates have been changed to fortnightly, due to my laziness. This means I can put more extras in though, which I find much more enjoyable.

Cookies and prizes!

Okay. Prize 1 was won by notverygood. It hasn't been confirmed, but I know that he did contribute quite a hefty push to the goal. Prize 2 was won by Cj10203040, with a number guess of 42. The actual number was 367. Yes, out of the 17 people who posted, 6 went over 520, and 10 went under 40. So the answer to life won the prize! Prize 3 however was lost, as my score in Pel seems to be unsurmountable. So I win the 10 cookies there. (Actually, I'm not that mean, I'll only take 3)

Top pulsers last week were:

Sinapi 5,202,703 (+1,786,204) (FTD!)
HappyAlcoholic 3,969,196 (+869,130) (FTD!) 
Cryptosporidian 4,583,554 (+795,333) (EH!)
x_Pyro_x 9,122,250 (+678,350)
Smookyolo :D 5,173,085 (+522,525) (IiN!)
squall7775 4,144,178 (+377,199) (MF!)
SicMirx 2,011,968 (+355,054) (LEP!)
Mr. Bean 49,792,158 (+354,137)
sellyme 4,076,719 (+350,000) (FTD!)
Phoenix00017 5,448,985 (+290,045) (KA) (NC!)
   

Total Cookies are!

evilducks: 14
sellyme:8

notverygood: 7

Cj10203040: 4
Mr. Bean: 4

CiF: 3

Aiglet1: 3

HappyAlcoholic: 3

Juze: 2

Dextro53: 2

Kyru: 2
Chippy01: 2 

Cryptosporidian: 2
Sinapi: 2

Smookyolo :D: 2

Rivian: 1
Sylicas: 1
kaluzaklein: 1

GHEZ119: 1

Ult_Mac_Dady: 1
SlasherX48: 1
hokage4354: 1

AioriaRox: 1

Kralis: 1

WiiPlayer113: 1
Fushinryu: 1
TatharNuar: 1
tortao: 1
Sasms: 1
MyDreamName: 1
ChrisB5: 1
Kralis: 1
x_Pyro_x: 1
squall7775: 1
SicMirx: 1
Phoenix00017: 1

Country Stats - Week ending March 12

1. United States - 86,554,738,772
2. Netherlands - 46,941,224,294
3. Germany - 30,937,554,857
4. Poland - 27,829,804,912
5. United Kingdom - 20,732,137,337
6. Canada - 18,086,640,084
7. Australia - 11,775,911,144 [ED: Obvious favouritism GO!]
8. Chile - 11,528,729,786 [ED: You'd think that after the quake they'd have stopped...]
9. Belgium - 11,027,317,181
10. Sweden - 9,428,780,883
11. Finland - 9,193,467,128
12. Czech Republic - 8,053,244,942
13. Estonia - 5,712,566,005
14. Italy - 5,504,095,256
15. Slovakia - 4,958,397,170
16. Norway - 4,717,868,756
17. Unknown - 4,063,880,982 [ED: Am I the only one who wants to stab this 'country'?]
18. Hungary - 3,717,768,784
19. Denmark - 3,568,391,795
20. Brazil - 3,405,496,859
21. Spain - 3,068,741,353
22. Portugal - 2,992,309,086
23. Bulgaria - 2,507,865,522
24. France - 2,404,723,491

Battling for the front page..

25. Malaysia - 2,336,592,314
26. New Zealand - 2,242,085,313
27. Romania - 2,074,768,716

Double funny pics next week, I promise.

User of the Week #3: DarkRuler2005/Mr.Bean

Q: How did you think up your name?

A: I didn’t, frankly enough. I could make up this story about how I measured the dark as being exactly 20.05 centimeters long, or I could make up a story on how I am a dark measurer and was born in 2005, or I could make up a story the devil made me do it, but probably the most unbelievable story of all time is that basically my friend randomly selected this for me.
 
Q: How do you consistently pulse pulses between 500k and 2mil without the urge to press the little “W”?

 A: Honestly? I pulse when I accidentally click the W icon. Well, no, not really, I don’t have a pattern, it’s really just random. I feel no urge to pulssse. My preciousss. clicks

Q: What does it feel like to be team #1?

 A: Disastrous. Nobody to pass, nobody to own, I’ve set up a fictive person first in our team with 1 trillion keystrokes so that my motivation stays strong.

Q: Why are you awesome?
A: As a scientist, I will have to disagree with that research question. You are implicitly assuming that I am, in fact, awesome. No research in this area has ever been conducted, because my awesomeness is difficult to define and quantify. You will therefore have to start such a research first before starting this one.

Q: Apart from you, who do you think is the best Kong WP user?

 A: My girlfriend, and no, I won’t give you her number.

Q: What is your main WP goal?

 A: None, really. It will be fun to work towards getting first of the whole site, but since there are people literally getting 200k a day, every day, I doubt that will ever happen. Being high up the rankings is already good enough for me.

Q: Why and when did you join WP?

 A: Mr. Bean has been a participant since 2006-11-29 (42 months ago), and in that time has typed 49,792,158 keys, clicked 9,553,663 times and moved his or her mouse for 477.89 miles. I joined because they asked me to on another site. Fun times when I had a lot of people to compete with.

Q: Why did you eventually join the Kongregate team, and where were you originally?

 A: I was originally in the DotAPortal team. It’s the team from the site I originally was pushed to join by. I was very active on that site, but I switched to this one over a long period of time. Eventually, I found they had a team on Kongregate too, and since I’m pretty much inactive on DotAPortal, I decided to join this one. (AKA: You gave me a cookie.)

Q: Any tips?

A: Grab the laser barrel, handy hand grenades and shoes of epic shoelaceness, then enter the “wut” level. Dodge all incoming parrots and carrots to finally face the boss, the super duper cheese of hell. Combine the three items you took with you and… What?

Ultra late update time.

I'm trying to find another person to work (sorta) for this blog. You'll get some cookies for joining :P Whoever decides to join will be given the prestigious job title "The New Chief Director in charge of staying late to get shit done." YAAAAAY! *EDIT:* notverygood has the job! With incredibly minimum wage of $15 a year! 

Anyway, here's the update that will probably end up killing me. I'm completely swamped with work, so I'm only doing people with over 1,750,000 keys (69 people o.0, but not all have pulsed in the last week). Sorry to everyone else, but I just can't do any more.

Xestrix 2,027,890 (+155,747)
Phoenix00017 5,448,985 (+290,045) (KA)
ImmortalItalian 2,217,249 (+163,435)
laxluvergall 2,354,536 (+25,754)
kaluzaklein 2,296,054 (+100,000) (FTD!)
Sukasai 2,962,568 (+49,493)
Smookyolo :D 5,173,085 (+522,525)
squall7775 4,144,178 (+377,199)
Pereking 7,085,049 (+8,157)
nadroj09 2,266,011 (+0)
gimsily 2,533,580 (+69,520)
hokage4354 2,316,303 (+137,825)
SicMirx 2,011,968 (+355,054)
Colin 5,156,602 (+106,576)
Nab =P (F) 48,546,040 (+118,481) (FTD!)
notverygood 1,780,538 (+104,078) (FTD!)
trebach 2,274,210 (+25,000)
Sasms 2,300,963 (+55,667) (FTD!)
Chippy01 5,803,930 (+152,190)
TatharNuar 24,970,488 (+27,912)
sellyme 4,076,719 (+350,000) (FTD!)
Travuersa 10,758,472 (+30,000)
phoexo 7,579,309 (+75,892)
neotype 8,325,430 (+114,643)
Cj10203040 2,710,879 (+63,007)
Ducklette 2,605,917 (+250,604) (FTD!) (KA)
ChrisB5 1,985,664 (+10,000)
Agent_86 1,866,369 (+168,860)
Mr. Bean 49,792,158 (+354,137)
x_Pyro_x 9,122,250 (+678,350)
resterman 1,831,874 (+200,000)
moses78 1,959,079 (+35,905)
AlisonClaire 2,369,434 (KA) (+157,315)
Kioyoh 2,000,000 (+100,000)
LiveeEevil 1,862,557 (+18,908)
HappyAlcoholic 3,969,196 (+869,130) (FTD!)
Sinapi 5,202,703 (+1,786,204) (FTD!)
Cryptosporidian 4,583,554 (+795,333)

 Yeah, that's all of them. I started this at 3:00 p.m. Yesterday. It's now 9:30 p.m. Yeah...

(FTD!) = Resides in Feed the Ducks
(KA) Kongregate Admin
(F) Kongregate Team Founder
Australian! Go Australia!

 So, I have a new idea. Player vs. Player battles. Most keys in a week wins. The winner gets a cookie, the loser, gets nothing but shame. As many can run at the same time as you like, so just tell me if you want to fight someone :P

Cookies and Top 7 come tomorrow.

New schedule:

Monday/Tuesday: This. Team stats.

Tuesday/Wednesday: Cookies! 

Thursday: Head vs. Head battles.

Friday: Country stats! (Go Australia)

Saturday: User of the week! A: Yes, it's not Tuesday any more. B: Yes, this is pink :P C: Shut up, this is confusing :(

New Poster!

Hi! It's notverygood here, the newest member of Kongpulse! :D Selly says he's dying of work, I'll mostly be doing the country stats that MommaK did so well.
Whatever it is, blame selly.

User of The Week #2: Cryptosporidian

Today's interview is with a well known and respected Kongregate user, being a mod, not to mention the inventor of everlasting textwalls and the subsequent acronym "tl;dr". Here is our chat with him (or her :P).

Q: How did you think up your name?

A: *Digs through files* Ah, here we go~ Basically, I came on Kongregate shortly after beating the Destroy All Humans series, a game which I still love quite a bit and would never hesitate playing again. The main character’s name was Cryptosporidium, and the ring of the name greatly appealed to me. Nevertheless, there was one problem, which google gladly revealed to me upon my searching the name. Not even did my favorite videogame protagonist come up, the entire first page was a list of hits about ‘Cryptosporidium, the intestinal bacteria.’ I really, really did not want to give up such a cool name, yet at the same time, I didn’t want to be named after something that festers in someone’s gut and lives off of various materials which pass through. And so, I changed the last two letters, and boom! Same sound, no longer a creepy foodborne parasite. Opening up Kongregate, I typed this in, and soon the little red-eyed Cryptosporidian popped out in all it’s noobishness, ready for the weeks and months to come



Q: And that was a good thing, as many people have flamed you about your name anyway. So, how do you consistently pulse 800k pulses without the urge to press the little “W”?

A: First, being the complete meanieface that I am, I choose to tear apart your question by pointing out it’s many fallacies. First and foremost, I have never pulsed 800,000 or more keys at a time- My record was my last pulse, at 795,333 keys. Furthermore, the average of each of my pulses is actually approximately 391,000. Through they have been consistently getting larger and larger, I have nowhere near come to do such a high number with any sort of consistency. Secondly, it’s not possible to pulse 800,000 pulses at once. you can only pulse one pulse at a time [EDITORS NOTE: Actually, you are wrong there. There is a glitch in WP allowing multiple pulses at once. The most so far has been 17, but 800,000 is theoretically possible]. And finally, I have the urge to press the little W all the time, because it gives me a dropdown menu to access my geek window from, to check the amount of pulses I have. But, to get at your actual question, to me a huge pulse is much more epic than a teeny one or even a medium-sized one, and as a result I strive to build up epic amounts of pulseage.



Q: Why are you awesome?

A: No trying to force me to be a narcissist <3 Everyone is awesome in someone’s eyes for totally different reasons, any justifications I might give for my supposed awesomeness certainly will not hold out across the board, and are far from universal. I am awesome if you believe me to be awesome based on those characteristics you see in me that make you think I’m awesome. ‘Nuff said.

Q: Apart from you, who do you think is the best Kong WP user?

A:I’m not the best Kongregate WhatPulse user in the first place. But given my Epic-WhatPulse-User-Criteria, combined with amazing Mathy-Sciency skillz...
Formula: User Rating = Coolness to Hotness Ratio * Activity in artificial units of time * PulseSize(Rank - Letters in username)
This is rewritten as: uR = C:H * A * ps(r - L)
Given: I am the second coolest whatpulse user EVAR.
Given: My uR is 594
Therefore: Find user with uR over 73
Hypothesis: Evilducks is the best whatpulse user
Equation: uR = 5/.5 * 2.3 A.U.T. * 2.6(19-9)
uR = 10 * 2.3 * 26
uR = 598
My hypothesis has been proven with rock solid evidence in the form of indisputable math.

Q: What is your main WP goal?

A: First place is always something nice to aspire to, but given that it would take years to acquire that many millions of keystrokes, I think I’ll currently keep my sights on making it to, and staying in the top 25. After that the top 20, then the top 15, and so on.

Q: Why and when did you join WP?

A: Selly, the evil KangarooSquirrel from the sunny side, badgered me over and over again with repeated fits of groveling in order to finally convince skeptical ‘ole me to sign up. [EDITORS NOTE: It's true, sadly...]

Q: Any tips?

A: I’ll tip you $2.50 if you actually read my entire ramblings, consisting of minor yellow brick textwalls, a snazzy equation, and some other meaningless garble that you might actually care about! So, yes, i have this tip, but it’s only one, and next time you don’t have to ask so brashly! >:O [EDITORS NOTE: GIVE ME MAH MONIEZ!]

The cookies.

Okay. I'm going to start 3 cookies contests.

1. If you have spare time on the internet, and like doing seemingly pointless things, whisper me. This prize offers 5 cookies.

2. I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 1000. Whisper me (sellyme) on Kongregate with the number you think it is. Closest person to the number wins, but if you go over the number, you "Bust". This prize offers 3 cookies.

3. Beat my score at Pel. You must provide a screenshot of the end screen and high score. My high is around 18,000,000. This prize offers 10 cookies.

Now, the actual cookie count.

evilducks: 14
sellyme: 4

CiF: 3

Aiglet1: 3

Mr. Bean: 3

Juze: 2

Dextro53: 2

Kyru: 2

notverygood: 2

HappyAlcoholic: 2
Chippy01: 2

Rivian: 1
Sylicas: 1
kaluzaklein: 1

GHEZ119: 1

Ult_Mac_Dady: 1
SlasherX48: 1
hokage4354: 1

Smookyolo :D: 1

AioriaRox: 1

Cj10203040: 1

Kralis: 1

WiiPlayer113: 1
Sinapi: 1
Fushinryu: 1
TatharNuar: 1
tortao: 1
Sasms: 1
MyDreamName: 1
Cryptosporidian: 1
ChrisB5: 1
Kralis: 1

Yay! Revivivacation! (Is that a word?)

Let's see how my new tactic works... No increases today, just their total.

gatherer818 1,017,141
squall7775 3,766,979
Smookyolo :D 4,650,560
Xestrix 1,872,143
Beccala 1,300,997

Xyz702

295,542

Cryptosporidian 3,788,221
Reyali 832,425
Countenance 56,138
Phoenix00017 5,158,940
aenh 9,500,773
Glomple 1,100,000
Jay Remie 920,479
BlackBone 762,945
GhostlyGamer 673,556
1a2b3c97 212,979
Gryljams 115,295
Mr Js Girl 100,123
Seth161991 233
Travuersa 10,728,472
Jeeves1 646,823
TomDot 573,743
catsfanj 1,109,587
Mikzku 1,032,663

Bephwyn

1,499,023

MichelleMS 304,272
ThePilch 548,243
JetLagX 602,047
kaluzaklein 2,196,054
Kove 469,473
Cj10203040 2,647,872
Gama11 363,419
123aaa789 1,345,974
gimsily 2,464,070
Farrhago 1,097,236
fmoly 1,179,233
World_Domination 402,452
Sukasai 2,913,075
Matoking 506,855
Pereking 7,076,892
Jobose 1,183,830
ChrisB5 1,975,664
ArchSlayer100 112,400
Nab =P (F) 48,427,563
Kristian Lolhaha 990,625
sellyme 3,726,719
LucasBurgel 901,713
hokage4354 2,178,478
AlisonClaire 2,212,119
intreker05 705,937
Sten123 3,194,450
trebach 2,249,210
Agent_86 1,698,309
zmanzach4 560,262
Keckers 1,516,493
Rivian 20,258,754
viper11475 550,000
Deathreape 191,393
Oathness 686,685
KongregateHack 576,415
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious 1,284,555
Chippy01 5,651,740
JaumeBG :) 831,792
notverygood 1,676,460
LiveeEevil 1,843,649
Colin 5,050,026
IAmTheCandyman 1,064,642
Rockin Gabe 384,350
Khnum666 1,306,116
Kioyoh 1,900,000
Meatshield 265,433
Jeopardize 300,673
Ducklette 2,355,313
moses78 1,923,174
neotype 8,210,787
DoctorMarmalade 442,968
PlatinumIce 318,205
resterman 1,631,874
Mr. Bean 49,438,021
denisol 371,771
Jarski69 799,770
schlefty 8,056,485
khanh93 49,561
l24yQu424_[FIN] 362,159
MossyStump 1,607,598
tooots 1,678,868
Connorwhoa 1,215,693
laxluvergall 2,354,536
GreyCoyote 128,184
ILikeGames 281,883
pivotman99 291,706
catguy 20,148
Amilir 895,965
pinkandblue 522,137
blood18 1,272,926
evaryont 366,378
ckwolf 1,367,467
keesto 270,548


This all in the last week. I'm not doing the other 161 people who haven't pulsed in the last week, no matter what. And next week, I'm only going to show the stats for the Top 100 or everyone over a million, whichever has less. (It's likely to be Top 100)

Anyway, see you tomorrow!