Selly is a bitch. By notverygood.

But I took time out to write up these stats. TORTURE I SAY, TORTURE

36	Tip.it Pulsers	274	|1,018,877,863
37	ElOtroLado.net	278	| 987,095,062
38	Burger-Ping	75	| 968,261,535
39	Kongregate	365	|933,668,161
40	Fanfiction Enthusiasts	199	|931,239,298
41	Lowyat.Net	141	| 917,598,939
42	Noxa	277	| 909,929,293

ZOMG - WE'EW LIEK TOTALLY 39TH NOW.
And in case you're stupid.
Position Team name Members Keys... in that order. But you probably didn't need me to tell you that. Right?

User of the Week #10: WiiPlayer113

Quick links: ^{Kongregate profile} _{WhatPulse profile}

This week's User of the Week, or UotW (pronounced "wot", "what", I guess), is WiiPlayer113!

Selly gave him the questions and WiiPlayer answered them, but I posted them because selly couldn't.

Question: How did you think up your name?
Which name? My Kongregate name or my WhatPulse name? Wait, they’re the same, because I am just that awesome. (For more information on my awesomeness, please turn your attention to the 3rd question). Anyways, my username derives from the videogame, the Nintendo Wii. I enjoy playing it. Therefore I am the Wii Player. Not a Wii Player, but THE Wii Player. The 113 is my birthday, November 3rd. (Now that you know this I am expecting gifts every year) Now you just push all of that stuff together and you get WiiPlayer113.

Q: Who do you think is your main opposition in the Whatpulse standings?
Probably sellyme. He is waaaaaaaaay far ahead of me, but eventually I shall catch up. I’m hoping opposition means something along the lines of “A person who you want to beat”. I googled opposition and it came up with something about planets.

Q: Why are you awesome?
I am awesome because my mommy tells me I am.

Q: What is your main WP goal?
My main WhatPulse goal is to be #1 on the Kongregate team. Duh. If your goal is to not be #1 then you need to STFU and GTFO. (That sounded kinda mean, I’m sorry) if I can’t get become #1 then I at least want to be part of the Top 25.

Q: Why and when did you join WP?
I joined WhatPulse on November 29th, 2009. I joined WhatPulse because I always like competitions, so I joined this. I knew in the future there would be Head to Head battles, I’m psychic. However, I did “quit” WP for a couple of months for no reason. BUT NOW I AM BACK AND AM READY TO KICK SOME (Censored)!

Q: Will you win selly’s tournament? (This will probably be redundant soon).
Yes. Next question pl0x.

Q: Any tips?
Completely deny your family and friends so you can get as many keys as you can by either playing video games or chatting on Kongregate. Also, I would compete in the competitions in the forums so you can get keys from playing the games over and over again to get a good score. (Also, it is fun competing).

Sellyme's semi-serious super special silly stats of special stuffs and similar stupendous simiad sendings! The Secondary Sequel of stupidity!

Milestones in the Last 24 Hours.

LazloZania passed 1,400,000
Laxaria passed 1,500,000
Matoking passed 1,900,000
Agent_86 passed 4,500,000
mvgreen54 passed 350,000
UltimateChaos passed 4,000,000
SirenSong passed 2,500,000
CaptainDDL passed 650,000
Holly764 passed 700,000
CryoSabre passed 500,000
king_matt passed 40,000
gordonst4 passed 50,000
CowFriend passed 150,000
PsychoFade passed 100,000
sadeith passed 40,000

Newest Users

CowFriend
TKKTTONY
Cycloneblaze
jappipi
Makeez
sadeith
Morra
PsychoFade
Itz Drovoxx
CrimsonStorm
gordonst4
Mobyduck
Typhoon00
ddrmaster18

Kongregate Versus The Rest

Because Blogspot is a total ass with images, you probably can't see much. The black line is us. We have been the best every day since it's been recording.

Largest Pulsers
Well, Free-DC has decided to be a douche and has reset all the cool stuff I has going to show you. So I have to do it by hand. Yesterday, according to the WP server, the best users on Kong were:

UltimateChaos (557,075)
SirenSong (449,667)
123aaa789 (106,246)
notverygood (78,311)
gab rid (49,653)
mupet0000 (44,044)
Agent_86 (41,076)

The weeks top pulsers are a different story altogether though.

ploftkaploft (2,669,196)
iamacow (1,127,098)
Cryptosporidian (1,082,356)
SecretofMana (610,689)
UltimateChaos (557,075)
notverygood (544,144)
SirenSong (449,667)

While the months best are yet again not very much almost exactly quite completely not unlike the same.

Mr. Bean (3,084,970)
ploftkaploft (2,669,196)
elitegundam (2,523,472)
notverygood (2,275,306)
Sinapi (1,713,832)
sellyme (1,574,686)
Ducklette (1,493,696)

(Note to self: Give cookies to all in weekly/monthly lists)]

Now, Free-DC stats only include about 1/4 of the Top 500 WP teams, so I can't exactly rely on their stats completely. For instance, where I'm 10655th in WP, it says I'm 2,333rs on Free-DC. However, I still want to share the stats of the Free-DC lists with you:

We have 2 users in the top 100.
We have 7 users in the top 1000.
We have 15 users in the top 2000.
We have 31 users in the top 3000.
We have 61 users in the top 5000.
Our 100th placed user is at 6558th.

It will be interesting to do this every week and see the changes. And now I've finished my uber-long blog post, I hope you enjoy all those stats!

I made you a cookie!

Yes. Cookies are back! (Sort of). Okay, now this isn't a perfect system, but I'm giving you an advnatage, instead of starting you at zilch. Here's a guide.

For every point over 0 you have into the H2H battlers list you get a cookie.
For every "task" you complete, you get a cookie.
For everything else particularly awesome you do, you get a cookie.
Once you obtain a certain amount of cookies, you can request a favour from me. Or even make me publicly humiliate myself if you have enough cookies. There will even be things you can buy off of me (most of them virtual, but at 9001 cookies you can buy a Kong Badges Tee). More info will come on this later.

Anyway, here's how the cookie table stands now:

gab rid 5
sellyme 5
notverygood 4

VG 3

Cryptosporidian 2

IAmTheCandyman 2

Cj10203040 2

WiiPlayer113 2
Sinapi 2
AlisonClaire 1

Kove 1

Inquizitor 1

squall7775 1

Nab =P 1

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious 1

Smookyolo :D 1

[IGNORE ME!!!]

As of 28th March 2010, the cookie counts were as so.
Thus, the final count is as follows.
evilducks: 14 sellyme: 13 notverygood: 12 Cj10203040: 6 gab rid: 5 Mr. Bean: 4 Cryptosporidian: 4 Sinapi: 4 VG: 3

CiF: 3

Aiglet1: 3

HappyAlcoholic: 3

Smookyolo :D: 3
Juze: 2

Dextro53: 2

Kyru: 2
Chippy01: 2

IAmTheCandyman: 2
WiiPlayer113: 2
squall7775: 2
Rivian: 1
Sylicas: 1
kaluzaklein: 1

GHEZ119: 1

Ult_Mac_Dady: 1
SlasherX48: 1
hokage4354: 1

AioriaRox: 1

Kralis: 1

Fushinryu: 1
TatharNuar: 1
tortao: 1
Sasms: 1
MyDreamName: 1
ChrisB5: 1
Kralis: 1
x_Pyro_x: 1
SicMirx: 1
Phoenix00017: 1
JaumeBG :): 1
AlisonClaire: 1
Kove: 1
Inquizitor: 1
Nab =P: 1 Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious: 1

With love, nvg. <3

(Oh wow, you actually combined them... Thanks, but I didn't want to do that, so as to get rid of inactive people... Oh well. I actually just wanted to do it that way because of laziness, so I guess it doesn't matter)

List of Best Head to Head Battlers: Week Sixteen

Here is the list of the best battlers of H2H. Rules of this list: You get 1 point for every win and -1 for every loss. ▼ and ▲ mean rank, + and - mean position in this table, comparing to last week.

1: gab rid 5 ₧ (+1) (▲1)
1: sellyme 5 ₧ (+1) (▲1)
3: notverygood 4 ₧ (-1) (▼2)
4: Cryptosporidian 2 ₧

4: IAmTheCandyman 2 ₧

4: Cj10203040 2 ₧

4: WiiPlayer113 2 ₧
4: Sinapi 2 ₧
9: AlisonClaire 1 ₧ (▲1)

9: Kove 1 ₧ (▲1)

9: Inquizitor 1 ₧ (-1) (▼5)

9: squall7775 1 ₧ (▲1)

9: Nab =P 1 ₧ (▲1)

9: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious 1 ₧ (▲1)

9: Smookyolo :D 1 ₧ (▲1)
9: VG 1 ₧ (+1) (new)
17: JetLagX 0 ₧ (▼1)
17: Agent_86 0 ₧ (▼1)
17: racefan12 0 ₧ (▼1)

17: Mr. Bean 0 ₧ (▼1)

21: bladewing650 -1 ₧ (▼1)

21: Colin -1 ₧ (▼1)
21: Elldaman311 -1 ₧ (▼1)
21: HappyAlcoholic -1 ₧ (▼1)

21: hokage4354 -1 ₧ (▼1)
21: IlavDralgoner -1 ₧ (▼1)
21: Kispus -1 ₧ (▼1)

21: Sasms -1 ₧ (▼1)
21: SlasherX48 -1 ₧ (▼1)
21: wizard96 -1 ₧ (▼1)

21: Jazzaboy -1 ₧ (+1) (▲9)
32: Gryljams -2 ₧ (▼2)

32: viper11475 -2 ₧ (▼2)

32: Sheepie XD -2 ₧ (▼2)

35: JaumeBG -3 ₧ (-1) (▼5)
35: Kioyoh -3 ₧
35: shadow29live -3 ₧
38: Glomple -7 ₧ (-1) (▼1)

Head to Head battles: Week Sixteen

New H2H banner made by tetrismaster, a.k.a. gab rid. Thanks!

Week Fifteen's battles (8 - 15 July)

These are the results of last week's 5 battles.
Battle 60:
JaumeBG vs gab rid.
JaumeBG typed 77,000 keys and gab rid typed 100,032 keys.
gab rid won by 23,032 keys!

Battle 61:
notverygood vs sellyme.
notverygood typed 662,974 keys and sellyme typed 762,000 keys.
sellyme won by 99,026 keys!

Battle 62:
WiiPlayer113 vs Sheepie XD.
WiiPlayer113 typed 0 keys and Sheepie XD typed 0 keys.
There is a draw!

Battle 63:
Jazzaboy vs Inquizitor.
Jazzaboy typed 198,034 keys and Inquizitor typed 114,404 keys.
Jazzaboy won by 83,630 keys!

Battle 64:
VG vs Glomple.
VG typed 488,824 keys and Glomple typed 0 keys!
VG won by 488,824 keys!

Week Sixteen's battles (15 - 22 July)

These are the battles that will be played this week.
Battle 65:
Jazzaboy vs WiiPlayer113.

Battle 66:
JaumeBG vs Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

Battle 67:
gab rid vs VG.

Battle 68:
Smookyolo :D vs notverygood.

Battle 69:
Glomple vs Cj10203040.

Battle 70:
sellyme vs Inquizitor.

Best Head to Head battlers

The list is too long! From now on this list of best H2H players will be on Fridays. So, tomorrow, this list will be in a separate blog entry!

How to change your username in WhatPulse

I've recently changed my username in WhatPulse from "JaumeBG :)" to "JaumeBG" and I'd just like to let you guys know how to do that if you don't like your WhatPulse username.

1. Go to WhatPulse.


2. Go to My WhatPulse.


3. Click Change your username.


4. Pulse.


5. Type in the "New username" box what you want your new username to be.


6. The website will ask if you are sure you want to change your username from what it previously was to your new username.


7. The website will say that you have a new username.


8. Go to your profile to check if it has worked and your username appears.


I hope this has helped you if you wanted to change your WhatPulse username!

Head to Head battles: Week Fifteen

It's the fifteenth week of this already!

Week Fourteen's battles (1 - 8 July)

These are the results of last week's six battles.
Battle 54:
viper11475 vs Sheepie XD.
viper11475 typed 164,022 keys and Sheepie XD typed 195,192 keys.
Sheepie XD won by 31,170 keys!

Battle 55:
bladewing650 vs Smookyolo :D.
bladewing650 typed 37,452 keys and Smookyolo :D typed 284,860 keys.
Smookyolo :D won by 247,408 keys!

Battle 56:
JetLagX vs Cj10203040.
JetLagX typed 99,610 keys and Cj10203040 typed 106,486 keys.
Cj10203040 won by 6,876 keys!

Battle 57:
JaumeBG :) vs Inquizitor .
JaumeBG :) typed 23,000 keys and Inquizitor typed 129,866 keys.
Inquizitor won by 106,866 keys!

Battle 58:
notverygood vs IlavDralgoner .
notverygood typed 510,347 keys and IlavDralgoner typed 185,150 keys.
notverygood won by 325,197 keys!

Battle 59:
Glomple vs sellyme.
sellyme typed 340,685 keys and Glomple typed 75,000 keys.
sellyme won by 265,685 keys!

Week Fifteen's battles (8 - 15 July)

We've got 10 WhatPulsers participating this week. Good luck to all!
Battle 60:
JaumeBG :) vs gab rid.

Battle 61:
notverygood vs sellyme.

Battle 62:
WiiPlayer vs Sheepie XD.

Battle 63:
Jazzaboy vs Inquizitor .

Battle 64:
VG vs Glomple.

Best Head to Head battlers

Here is the list of the best battlers of H2H. Rules of this list: You get 1 point for every win and -1 for every loss. ▼ and ▲ mean rank, + and - mean position in this table, comparing to last week.

1: notverygood 5 ₧ (+2) (▲1)
2: gab rid 4 ₧ (▼1)
2: sellyme 4 ₧ (+2) (▲1)
4: Cryptosporidian 2 ₧ (▼1)

4: IAmTheCandyman 2 ₧ (▼1)

4: Cj10203040 2 ₧ (+1) (▲2)
4: Inquizitor 2 ₧ (+1) (▲2)

4: WiiPlayer113 2 ₧ (+1) (▲2)
4: Sinapi 2 ₧ (+1) (▲2)
10: AlisonClaire 1 ₧ (▼4)

10: Kove 1 ₧ (▼4)

10: squall7775 1 ₧ (▼4)

10: Nab =P 1 ₧ (▼4)

10: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious 1 ₧ (▼4)

10: Smookyolo :D 1 ₧ (+1) (▲5)
16: JetLagX 0 ₧ (new)
16: Agent_86 0 ₧ (▼1)
16: racefan12 0 ₧ (▼1)

16: Mr. Bean 0 ₧ (▼1)

20: bladewing650 -1 ₧ (-1) (new)

20: Colin -1 ₧
20: Elldaman311 -1 ₧
20: HappyAlcoholic -1 ₧

20: hokage4354 -1 ₧
20: IlavDralgoner -1 ₧ (new)
20: Kispus -1 ₧

20: Sasms -1 ₧
20: SlasherX48 -1 ₧
20: wizard96 -1 ₧
30: JaumeBG :) -2 ₧ (-2) (▼15)
30: Gryljams -2 ₧ (-1) (▼10)

30: viper11475 -2 ₧ (-1) (▼10)
30: Jazzaboy -2 ₧ (-1) (▼10)

30: Sheepie XD -2 ₧ (▲1)
35: Kioyoh -3 ₧ (▼3)
35: shadow29live -3 ₧ (▼3)
37: Glomple -6 ₧ (▼4)