So you herd I liek Mardek. (I, notverygood, am still a weiner)

35	devPULSE	194|	1,034,331,193
36	Tip.it Pulsers	275|	1,021,622,378
37	ElOtroLado.net	278|	987,937,599
38	Kongregate	372|	974,286,402
39	Burger-Ping	75|	969,521,741
40	Fanfiction Enthusiasts	200|	934,790,776
41	Lowyat.Net	141|	918,241,542

Selly is a bitch. By notverygood.

But I took time out to write up these stats. TORTURE I SAY, TORTURE

36	Tip.it Pulsers	274	|1,018,877,863
37	ElOtroLado.net	278	| 987,095,062
38	Burger-Ping	75	| 968,261,535
39	Kongregate	365	|933,668,161
40	Fanfiction Enthusiasts	199	|931,239,298
41	Lowyat.Net	141	| 917,598,939
42	Noxa	277	| 909,929,293

ZOMG - WE'EW LIEK TOTALLY 39TH NOW.
And in case you're stupid.
Position Team name Members Keys... in that order. But you probably didn't need me to tell you that. Right?

Because deep down you know you love me.

And because of this love... it's another week of team stats :D (two in a row! Gasp! :O)

40. Lowyat.net - 916,813,689 keys from 141 low yats on nets.
41. Noxa - 903,654,150 keys from 277 Noxans.
42. MadBoxPC - 899,692,050 keys from 124 mad boxes that may or may not have carried PCs.
43. Kongregate - 899,169,104 keys from 347 worshippers of Greg McKuKluxKlanahan.
44. NetWars.pl - 891,850,869 keys from 165 wars on nets.
45. CZechTech - 882,010,968 keys from 215 Czechoslovakian technical support guys.
46. SkirmishLeague - 849,798,002 keys from 166 Skirmishers who have a league tournament next week.

Team: Kongregate
Members: 347
Keys: 899,169,104
Clicks: 270,835,379
Miles: 25989.65

The Kongregate team is now placed 43rd.

It returns. He comes.

AMG. IT'S MEEEEEEEEEEE.
And team stats are back because really, deep down, you know you prefer them over whatever selly has.

42. Fanfiction Enthusiasts - 907,641,218 keys from 196 people with fake enthusiasm. Or not?
43. MadBoxPC - 899,433,605 keys from 124 boxes that went mad after carrying PC's. Or Macs. Who are we to judge?
44. Netwars.pl - 891,456,181 keys from 165 guys and gals who enjoy fighting over nets.
45. Kongregate - 877,254,486 keys from 334 magnificent pieces of flesh.
46. SkirmishLeague - 849,500,555 keys from 166 skirmishers in leagues.
47. SleepyWood.net - 817,483,688 keys from 112 pieces of sleepy wood.
48. &TOTSE - 801,971,756 keys from 267 TOTSEs. Whatever that is.

Team Stats
Name: Kongregate
Members: 334
Keys: 877,254,486
Clicks: 264,120,368
Miles: 25497.10

What day is today, it's selly's birthday..

..what a day for a birthday, now let's all have some keys!
And you smell like one too! Heheheh!

That's right, it's sellyme's birthday today! If you see him around be sure to wish him a good one!
And maybe give him cookies too!



Hey guys, this part is Selly. (Ninja blogpost edit skillz!) I'd just like to say thanks to everyone wishing me a happy birthday, and especially to JaumeBG for getting me this AWESOME cake.

I just wish it was real :P

I can't think of anything clever to put here.

So I'll post about team stats instead.

47. &TOTSE - 799,444,873 keys from 266 ampersands. Look it up, it's a real word.
48. .::RSC::. - 794,038,246 keys from 200 Runescape Community people. Wow. 200. Growing.
49. PornBits - 788,705,505 keys from 215 porny bits of whatpulsers. Addicts.
50. Kongregate - 784,458,155 keys from 306 gamers who can't believe they're in the top 50.
51. Flash Flash Revolution - 771,657,710 keys from 147 whores of the key kind.
52. Slovakia - 758,957,608 keys from 183 - you know what? There is nothing original to be had here. Screw you guys, I'm going home!
53. XGen - 740,411,091 keys from 214 X rated generators.


TOP 50 HELL YEAH WOO!!!! DONT STOP UNTIL WE TAKE OVER THE WHATPULSE WORLD RWAAAAARRRR!!!!!

+5 respect to anyone who spots the reference and names the show/book/movie/song.

Key Spamming your way Into the Top 25: An Experiment

So Jaume and I were talking the other day and he suggested a new piece for the blog - an article on a super awesome game that gives you lots of super awesome keys. And now, here I am. Writing just that, with lots of credit going to Jaume for thinking up this wonderful idea. And actually having the balls to suggest it.
I give you...

Remnants of Skystone
ZOMG PAY CONTENT U FAIL GAEM SUX.
Haha, no.
Platformer MMO set in a Steampunk world. 2D side-scrolling action in single-player and co-op featuring three classes, each with their own move sets and abilities. Complete over 100 Missions and Quests in single-player, and team up with other players for Co-op Trailblazing with 3 new maps each week! Each player also receives housing called Floats, which you can decorate with spoils from quests or with items purchased in town. New quests and content added weekly!

So where does the awesome key spamming come in?
The controls.
Everything in the game can be navigated using the directional keys and hotkeys - A and S for movement and attack, P, I, Q, M, T, K, F, O and H for various menus.
Not only that, the loading! Key spam the controls over and over whenever the game is loading something and you will easily get thousands and thousands of keys and before you know it, you've got five million keys. A few weeks after that and.. what's this? TOP 25!

So why play the game?
Because it's f***ing awesome.
Smookyolo, Hemer and totally everybody else quotes the exact same thing;
"I would die of boredom without RoS to comfort me in my mom's basement."
Ask them.

Again, I must totally credit JaumeBG for this kickass idea.

If I had no anger issues..

We'd all be a bloody lot happier.

49. PornBits - 787,585,495 keys from 215 porny bits of members.
50. Flash Flash Revolution - 770,184,358 keys from 147 flashers. (I know, I know. It's ok, they flashed me too. Tasselfoot's ass ain't a pretty sight) [ED: Sshhh... Be quiet and he might get it back up!]
51. Slovakia - 758,068,846 keys from 183 members (this one speaks for itself).
52. Kongregate - 757,280,404 keys from 295 gamers and chatters. [ED: Because shut up]
53. XGen - 737,088,134 keys from 214 members.
54. elitepvpers.de - 734,553,906 keys from 233 unoriginal pvpers.
55. #RuEgEn - 733,537,042 keys from a lonely few 46 members.

ZOMG NO WAI - Kongregate gained no places this week. [ED:Because I've been key-whoring less. Wait until school holidays]

User of The Week #8: IAmTheCandyman

Interview with IAmTheCandyman

Q: How did you think up your name?
A: Well, I took my middle school nickname “The Candyman” and wanted to turn it into a username when I arrived on Newgrounds, which is where I was before Kong. TheCandyman was taken, so I just made up IAmTheCandyman. In my defense, I was 14. :P


Q: What’s it like being one of the over 80 mods using WhatPulse?
A: It’s nice to know that the ModSquad is doing more than just moderate the chatrooms, but that we’re helping the Kongregate community’s reputation outside of Kongregate.


Q: Do you think there is some kind of correlation or is it just coincidence?
A: That mods are doing WhatPulse? I think that mods are generally chosen because they’re (reasonably) kind and intelligent people, and those sorts of people tend to be interested in participating in studies like that, especially since we’re all so involved in our internet community. So I’d say there’s a correlation between modship and interest in vaguely scholarly pursuits.


Q: Who do you think is your main opposition in the Whatpulse standings?
A: I’d have to say Agent_86, but that’s mostly because he’s the only one who’s really made any sort of move to become any sort of rival. It’s all friendly competition, though!


Q: Why are you awesome?
A: Because IAmTheCandyman. And because the Candyman can.


Q: Apart from you, who do you think is the best Kong WP user?
A: I’d have to say it’s the_squall. He seems to be posting massive jumps in the rankings pretty often!


Q: What is your main WP goal?
A: I’m mostly curious to see how much I actually type, but I’m aiming for the top 25 if I can manage it somehow!


Q: Why and when did you join WP?
A: I joined WP in November 2009, on the suggestion of FappyAlcoholic, though I was having a lot of issues with WP and Win7, so I didn’t really start using it that much until February 2010, when I built my gaming desktop computer, the Bonecrusher.


Q: How many god damn alts has Fappy made to make fun of you?
A: I think he only actually has two; a lot of those are actually mine! Though you’ll never know which…


Q: Any tips?
A: To rule WhatPulse, just keep chatting and gaming and gaming and chatting! That’s how I do it. As for being awesome, be kind. The world is full of too much sadness for those of us with the power to be nice to waste it all.

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice...

More, lame, pointless stats that nobody reads/cares about, right?
Prove me wrong, KongPulse. Prove me wrong.

49. PornBits - 786,915,528 keys from 215 (oh, geez...) bits of porn. That's right, bits of porn. (Absolutely NO COMMENT)
50. Flash Flash Revolution - 768,902,894 keys from 147 revolutionary flashers.
51. Slovakia - 757,658,615 keys from 183 Slovakians.
52. Kongregate - 741,550,546 keys from 291 purely awesome people.
53. XGen - 735,958,749 keys from 214 genera- oh, sorry. Members... (geez, would've thought a bunch of generators could be so pissy..)
54. #RuEgEn - 733,043,503 keys from 46 people who need some good ol' vitamin D. For the uninformed, that is what you get from the sun.
55. elitepvpers.de - 733,018,192 keys from 232 (oh geez there's nothing original to come from this) elite pvpers.

Another day...

... another dol- I mean, another day of team stats. Yay, and such.

52. XGen - 735,289,266 keys generated from 214 generators. Though they stress they prefer the term "members"
53. #RuEgEn - 733,043,503 keys from 46 keywhores. That's right, 46.
54. elitepvpers.de - 732,211,265 keys from 230 pvpers of the elite kind. 55. Kongregate - 721,162,781 keys from 286 freaking awesome gamers.
56. eAthena - 705,046,257 keys from 160 Athenaians. Iunno either.
57. Metin2.pl - 701,540,113 keys from 443... Metins? (note to self: remember to Ask Jeeves)
58. TTi - 695,686,282 keys from 307 people. (INB4SEXJOKE)

That's all, folks!

Just Another Day...

...another day of team stats. I also apologise for all troubles related to lack of blog updates. Sorry, guiz.

53. #RuEgEn - 733,043,503 keys from 46 members. These guys must all be freaking key whores.
54. elitepvpers.de - 731,047,197 from 229 members. (perhaps they pvp each other like we do?)
55. eAthena - 707,463,440 from 161 members. No comment here.
56. Kongregate - 705,930,996 from 282 members. GOGOGO KONG! WOO!
57. Metin2.Pl - 698,003,941 from 443 members. Fail. That is all.
58. TTi - 690,870,984 keys from 307 members. No comment here, either.
59. FTD - 680,629,397 from 175 members. NO, NOT FEED THE DUCKS. (F the Democracy)

Kongregate has gone up three spots this week and is now 56th. The top 50 awaits us...

Again, I apologise.
Sorry.

PS. This is how lazy I am, guiz.

Here we go again...

Time for some more team stats.

56. Metin2.Pl - 694,410,802 keys from 443 members.
57. TTi - 686,644,296 keys from 307 members.
58. Stepmania (AKA selly's keywhoring that leads to... visible bones) - 679,452,183 keys from 94 members. (guess they have visible bones too)
59. Kongregate - 678,770,163 keys from 275 members.
60. FTD (no, NOT Feed the Ducks... it's ok. I did a double take there too.) - 677,320,504 keys from 174 members.
61. Torrent-Damage.net (...) - 660,316,519 keys from 172 members.
62. Ogame.de - 659,333,719 keys from 142 members.

Kongregate has gone up FIVE spots this week and is now 59th. Top 50 here we come!

Team Stats
Name: Kongregate
Users: 275 (gone down somehow..)
Keys: 678,770,163
Clicks: 203,391,686
Miles: 18647.59
Position: 59th

Team Stats Apr 7

Easter is behind us. The hoardes of chocolate shall live on.

61. Ogame.de - 659,123,404 from 142 members.
62. Neowin.net - 657,532,402 from 78 members.
63. Gamerz-Planet - 652,971,255 from 114 members.
64. Kongregate - 641,594,710 from 263 members.
65. Cyberscore - 636,371,284 from 119 members.
66. Nipponsei - 616,888,387 from 99 members.
67. Tlen.pl - 608,049,326 from 126 members.

Team Stats

Name: Kongregate
Users: 280
Keys: 641,594,710
Clicks: 189,621,091
Miles: 17599.82
Position: 64

Cool story, bro.
17599.82 miles. That's far enough to circle the equator 2.2204 times.

Country Stats Apr 1

ZOMG EASTER THIS WEEK.

Place. Country - keys (change)

1. United States - 86,659,427,296 (+91,406,598)
2. Netherlands - 47,436,301,468 (+110,793,891) [ED:They're catching up! Slowly...]
3. Germany - 30,854,585,845 (-19,971,516) [ED: Only negative this week]
4. Poland - 28,033,144,331 (+75,253,245)
5. United Kingdom - 20,816,240,668 (+22,580,653)
6. Canada - 18,171,694,268 (+27,100,828)
7. Australia - 11,842,379,900 (+17,213,725)
8. Chile - 11,531,177,011 (+2,252,588) [ED: Still agonizingly slow... Watch out for Belgium]
9. Belgium - 11,113,179,688 (+25,896,164)
10. Sweden - 9,483,994,718 (+15,761,221)
11. Finland - 9,202,343,522 (+17,416,982)
12. Czech Republic - 8,091,049,464 (+9,634,941)
13. Estonia - 5,757,655,241 (+13,180,295)
14. Italy - 5,522,359,755 (+6,074,809)
15. Slovakia - 4,977,636,570 (+6,052,793)
16. Norway - 4,750,581,716 (+11,056,805) [ED: Watch this space...]
17. Unknown - 4,368,226,009 (+81,730,358) [ED: Make sure you name your country!! Unknown must lose!]
18. Hungary - 3,741,646,120 (+5,894,895)
19. Denmark - 3,596,415,366 (+13,248,984)
20. Brazil - 3,412,336,757 (+2,744,562)
21. Spain - 3,076,648,033 (+3,342,683)
22. Portugal - 2,987,423,841 (+2,715,974)
23. Bulgaria - 2,530,917,592 (+10,184,193)
24. France - 2,423,612,134 (+9,369,147)

Batttling for the front page...

25. Malaysia - 2,337,779,028 (+1,054,553)
26. New Zealand - 2,259,485,126 (+6,588,830)[ED: Were 144mil behind when we started counting this. They'll be in front by June.]
27. Romania - 2,103,360,629 (+6,684,620)

Team Stats Mar 29

What with Easter being (ZOMG) this week, I thought I'd do the team stats today so I can get a start on the country ones tomorrow. Even then they'll stil probably be late.

62. Neowin.net - 655,782,088 keys put forward by 78 members.
63. Gamerz-Planet - 652,745,392 keys put forward by 114 members.
64. Cyberscore - 634,344,473 keys put forward by 119 members.
65. Kongregate - 625,644,259 keys put forward by 258 members.
66. Nipponsei - 615,840,429 keys put forward by 99 members.
67. Tlen.pl - 607,846,370 keys put forward by 126 members.
68. Lusternia - 604,674,353 keys put forward by 85 members.

No extravagant wording this week.

Kongregate has overtaken 1 team this week and is now 65th.

Country Stats - Mar 26 2010

Place. Country - Keys (change)

1. United States - 86,568,020,698 (+159,287,883) [ED: Still first this week, but Netherlands are challenging them]
2. Netherlands - 47,325,507,577 (+122,782,572)
3. Germany - 30,874,557,361 (-50,481,615) [ED: Wow, that must be painful...]
4. Poland - 27,957,891,086 (+66,935,290)
5. United Kingdom - 20,793,660,015 (+36,736,942)
6. Canada - 18,144,593,440 (+39,724,638)
7. Australia - 11,825,166,175 (+42,397,424) [ED: Catching up slowly... 4th best country this week]
8. Chile - 11,528,924,423 (+4,123,494) [ED: How they got that high in the first place...]
9. Belgium - 11,087,283,524 (+34,008,388)
10. Sweden - 9,468,233,497 (+19,745,575)
11. Finland - 9,184,926,540 (+16,401,848)
12. Czech Republic - 8,081,414,523 (+12,327,315)
13. Estonia - 5,744,474,946 (+16,969,278)
14. Italy - 5,516,284,946 (+10,655,770)
15. Slovakia - 4,971,583,777 (+6,318,681)
16. Norway - 4,739,524,911 (+12,953,215)
17. Unknown - 4,286,495,651 (+101,351,208)
18. Hungary - 3,735,751,225 (+9,389,478)
19. Denmark - 3,583,166,382 (+9,912,089)
20. Brazil - 3,409,592,195 (+2,992,160)
21. Spain - 3,073,305,350 (+2,921,755)
22. Portugal - 2,984,707,867 (+4,629,457)
23. Bulgaria - 2,520,733,399 (+5,962,637)
24. France - 2,414,242,987 (+5,903,873)

Battling for the front page...
25. Malaysia - 2,336,724,475 (+677,477) [ED: Come on! I could do that in a week, let alone a whole country!!!]
26. New Zealand - 2,252,896,746 (+6,719,195)
27. Romania - 2,096,676,009 (+9,220,818)

Kongregate has over taken 1 team this week.
GO GO GO TEAM TOP 25.

Team Stats Mar 24 2010

63. Gamerz-Planet These 114 Gamerz, after developing their own planet, have pressed 652,633,973 keys. These elite gamerz make up 0.17% of all WP keys.
64. Cyberscore These cyberscorers (o_O) are 119 in number, and have scored 633,377,798 keys for their team. Despite claiming to NOT be a dating service, they hold 0.17% of all members.
65. Nipponsei These.... nipponers have silenced the nay-sayers and contributed 615,301,359 keys. The 99 sparse members represent 0.16% of the WP typing.
66. Kongregate These marvellously grand gamers are 254 in number, and have gamed (or chatted) their way to a total of 614,742,430 keys. These grand Kongregators are accountable for 0.16% of all the keyspam we call WP.
67. Tlen.pl are mainly a proud bunch of Polish, and have given to us 607,632,363 Polish keys. These 126 Polish make up 0.16% of keys in the WP project.
68. Lusternia These 85... people have lusted their way through 604,636,312 keys. They make up (perhaps literally) 0.16% of the "Whatpulse Quantum"
69. L33TSig These people have L33TSig'd their way to a grand total of 602,218,915 keys. These 197 Siggers make up 0.16% of all keys.

Kongregate has over taken two teams this week, and now sit at 66th. Go team!

Country Stats 19 March

Two days late, I know. Sorry.

Rank. Country - Keys (change)

1. United States - 86,408,732,815 (-146,005,957)
2. Netherlands - 47,202,725,005 (+261,500,711)
3. Germany - 30,925,038,976 (-12,515,881)
4. Poland - 27,890,955,796 (+61,150,884)
5. United Kingdom - 20,756,923,073 (+24,785,736)
6. Canada - 18,104,868,802 (+18,288,718)
7. Australia - 11,782,768,751 (+6,857,607)
8. Chile - 11,524,800,929 (-3,928,857)
9. Belgium - 11,053,275,136 (+25,957,955)
10. Sweden - 9,448,487,922 (+19,707,039)
11. Finland - 9,168,524,692 (-24,942,436)
12. Czech republic - 8,069,087,208 (+15,842,266)
13. Estonia - 5,727,505,668 (+14,939,663)
14. Italy - 5,505,629,176 (+1,533,920)
15. Slovakia - 4,965,265,096 (+6,867,926)
16. Norway - 4,726,571,696 (+8,702,940)
17. Unknown - 4,185,144,443 (+121,263,461)
18. Hungary - 3,726,361,747 (+8,592,963)
19. Denmark - 3,573,254,293 (+4,862,498)
20. Brazil - 3,406,600,035 (+1,103,176)
21. Spain - 3,070,383,595 (+1,642,242)
22. Portugal - 2,980,078,410 (-12,230,676)
23. Bulgaria - 2,514,770,762 (+6,905,240)
24. France - 2,408,339,114 (+3,615,623)

Battling for the front page..

25. Malaysia - 2,336,047,028 (N/A)
26. New Zealand - 2,246,177,551 (N/A
27. Romania - 2,087,455,191 (N/A)

Blame computer problems for all the N/A. Sorry, again.

Kongregate has over taken two teams this week. GO TEAM!

Team Stats March 17th 2010

66th - Tlen.pl
This team has 126 members who have collectively pressed 607,513,434 keys.

67th - Lusternia
This team has 85 members who have put forward a total of 604,588,068 keys.

68th - L33TSig
This team has 197 members who have contributed 601,275,641 keys.

69th - Kongregate (GO GO GO FAVORITISM)
This (wonderful) team has 250 (awesome) members who have (magnificently) given 600,937,600 keys.

70th - MapleTip.com
This team has 113 members who have productively contributed 593,764,940 keys.

71st - Imperian
This team has 100 members who have manufactured 585,834,798 keys.

72nd - Brasil
This team has 102 members who have given us 565,004,368 keys.