User of the Week #17: racefan12

How did you think of your username? And please don’t just copy-paste your profile -_-
Lol—well, it’s always good to know that people actually read my profile. Anyway, I’m a terribly uncreative person, so I never really put that much thought into a username. My username on a previous forum was simply my initials followed by a random 3-digit number, which I figured would just look dumb here. Anyway, I have been a fan of racing for most of my life, and 12 has been my favorite number ever since it was my jersey number on a Little League team.

Who is your biggest WhatPulse rival?
Hmm. Probably no one at the moment. It was moses78 at one point, but ever since we went our separate chatroom ways, I haven’t really paid too much attention to the rivalry. As I mention below, it’s not really about the competition for me—which is strange, because I’m normally a very competitive person.

What makes you awesome?
I don’t actually think I’m that awesome. I did manage to win my first forum game yesterday, bringing the total number of forum game winners to 100, so that’s pretty cool, I guess. I also have all the badges on Z-Rox, even the horribly difficult second hard badge.

What is your WhatPulse goal?
Just to have fun. I don’t type enough to be ranked highly in the team, so I don’t really pay attention to that. H2H and H3H are fun to be in, but I don’t care about my ranking in those, either. I’ve always been a numbers and statistics type of person, so simply monitoring my activity and seeing a bunch of cool data about it is enough for me.

What made you register on Whatpulse, and start counting those keys?
Well, I had been following the forum topic ever since its revival a couple of years ago, but I didn’t actually sign up until a few of my old friends from the League of Gamers chatroom (gatherer818, moses78, and Sir_Fratley) signed up together. Then, the battle was on.

Anything you’d like to say to the rest of the world while you have this chance?
Hello world!
Moving on from the cliché [ED: I LOVE YOU FOR SPELLING THAT CORRECTLY] department, I would just like to say that Kongregate and WhatPulse are two of the best websites in the world—and they are the only reason that I would still be awake at 1:45 AM the night before an 8:00 AM exam instead of getting some much needed sleep.
And finally, everyone needs to READ MY PROFILE!!!!

Who is best pony?
35kdog. Side note: I’ve never seen a second of My Little Pony, [ED: Don't worry, I'm doing my best to remedy this] and I’m the type of person who thinks that all new memes are dumb—until I end up subconsciously using them. Which is apparently similar to how people become bronies in the first place.
Oh wait… you said “pony”, not “brony”. /shrug Don’t know any ponies personally, and I don’t care to, either.

Who’s the best blog writer?
The one with the most updates, obviously. Selly. We always need more blog updates. Though I must admit, I was disappointed in the question selection. I didn’t even get any opportunities to make feeble attempts at humor while near the point of exhaustion!

[ED: He also used an em dash in the second to last question... Whee :D]

User of the Week #16: Mysterymason

How did you think of your name?
I thought of my name when I was about 8 years old and it has a MEGA back story that I won’t go into unless asked. Let’s just say it involved a club that was started in Year 3 and only ended in Year 6, when we all came to our senses.

Who is your biggest WhatPulse rival?
My biggest WhatPulse rival is probably SlateFx, we are twins and always trying to get more keys than each other each week.

What make you awesome?
Not much, really. I suppose some awesomeness comes out of the fact that I’m best at maths in my Year at school, but I’m not celebrating that TOO much because I live in England, and Selly keeps going on about how us kids here have the most miserable and undesirable upbringing in the whole of the developed world. Still, I think it’s pretty great.

What is your WhatPulse goal?
My WhatPulse goal is to hit over 10,000,000 keys, to get into the Primera Division, and finally, my unrealistic goal, is to get more keys than Selly. :P

What made you register on Whatpulse, and start counting those keys?
I registered due to Selly asking me to when I first joined Kongpulse IRC chat because he linked to it on a FGF game he made.

Any tips for people not as awesome as you?
I would say, if you want to know more about a certain subject then look it up at home! Don’t wait to go to school to learn about it, because chances are the pace and learning style will not be perfectly suited for you. I have learned more maths at home in the last few weeks than the last year at school.

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
I would say Chuck Norris, but from fear of a particularly deadly dose of roundhouse kicking, I won’t. What I will say, is that it doesn’t matter how much wood a Wood Chuck could chuck if a Wood Chuck could chuck wood. What matters is that if they could, we could employ them to do laborious wood chucking 24/7, thus boosting the economy tenfold.

Guest Interview: Carbon

Today I was lucky enough to get an interview with Carbon, a very well known name in the Whatpulse forums and chat. Here's what happened.

Q: So what's it like being the famous Carbon? :P
A: I hope you're not serious.

Q: Where'd you get your name?
A: From an old administration job. This is the third form of an old handle from about six years ago. My name was shortened to "Carbon" by the rest of the staff, it just stuck.

Q: Why and when did you join Whatpulse?
A: I joined WhatPulse back in July of 2009. I joined because I thought the idea of keeping computer usage statistics would be interesting. Personally, I have a thing for statistics, so I couldn't resist something like this.

Q: Why do you hang out on #Pulse so often?
A: I figured it would be a way to meet other users of the project, and maybe make a few new friends.

Q: Why are you awesome?
A: I don't consider myself to be anything that great. Hmm. I'm not really sure, to be honest. That's something you'd have to ask others.

Q: Apart from you, who do you think is the best WP user?
A: I don't think there is one. I'm not one who deals in favouriting others.

Q: What is your main WP goal?
A: Hmm. Well, part of me does have a goal of becoming staff on the WhatPulse project. As for reaching a certain milestone in statistics, I don't have one.

Q: Any tips on getting those sought-after keys?
A: Don't think about it. Keep it as something that runs in the background, out of sight. Set the program to auto-pulse. Just do what you'd normally do. If you're pushing yourself to something, it may have a negitive effect. I'd say it's better to just do things normally, and be able to see your progress.

Q: LOL U GHEY.
A: Mature. I still get laid more than you.

User of the Week #14: videogames518

This week, I interviewed: videogames518!


How did you think of your name?

videogames518 was fairly simple actually. I love to play video games, which explains the videogames part of my name and the 518 is my birthday.
A few years ago, while in chat, some people were calling me VG for short, and I soon took a liking to it, which is why I like to use VG.
(EDITOR NOTE: it's mm/dd, it’s the American way)

Who is your biggest WhatPulse rival?

I consider my biggest rival in WP to be Selly since he’s the only one that I know of that can pulse a huge amount in a short amount of time.
If there are others, I forget who they are.

What make you awesome?

I’m not sure really, if I were to guess, I would think that its cause I can do pretty well in games that I play, no matter what the game is, as long as it’s not a type of game I really hate. I’m sure a lot of people have seen my game skills through the Kongregate tournaments I’ve been in.

What will be your biggest achievement?

My biggest achievement. That’s a tough one to answer. Uhhhh…… I guess reaching the level cap on Kongregate, which right now is level 65. I would say get all the badges, but I’m not interested in going after some of them.

And for Whatpulse?

My WP goal is still 10 million keys (you’re a third of the way there :P)
I kinda lost interest in WP for now, so I’m not even trying.

What made you register on Whatpulse, and start counting those keys?

I was looking through the thread several times through-out the months and eventually I decided to be a part of it, so I made a WP account and started key counting. But like I said in the last question, I kinda lost interest, so I’m not trying.

Any tips for people not as awesome as you?

Practice makes anyone better. If anyone is bad at something, just keep practicing until improvement is made. If someone still sucks at something even after a lot of practice, then it’s time to find something else to be good at.

Last question, which one is the girlier, beiber or gaga?

I don’t watch or listen to either of them. Hell to tell ya the truth, I don’t really know who they are and don’t want to know.

Thanks for the interview, did you enjoy it?

It was interesting; I had to really think on some of them.

 If you would like to be interviewed, post in the whatpulse thread or pm selly, jaume or me

User of the Week #13: Tetrismaster!

Q: How did you think up your name?

A: Which one? :P (this will be very long)

gab rid – It started in school, and I was being called newb, by some n00bs, cause they played runescape and were past lvl 3, the runescape newb level. So I decided to start an account on there and beat them at their own game, but big problem, I couldn’t think of any names that were not already taken. I tried loads of different ones, but to no avail. At the time, I had a phrase of the week challenge, and that weeks phrase was “good riddance.” Now,usually when I’m on the computer there was/is homework on the desk, waiting to be finished. I had the word “gob” on the page, and I tried that. Didn’t work.
I then had the idea of my phrase and tried a lot of combos before I ended up on gab (gob misspelled) rid (riddance). It worked and I beat them :)

tetrismaster – This one started back with when I used to like digimon :P
I saw an ad for their website and wanted to see it. I was naturally drawn to the games section, and there was a tetris game. I set the 4th all time score for the game, but then found out that you had to register to submit scores. The first thing I could think of it that I am the best at tetris (one the site), so I am the tetrismaster! (powerz activate)
I entered that, and it wasn’t taken, so I went on to score the second highest in that game. That is how I found the interwebz.

Q: Who is your main opponent in the WP standings?

A: I have no opposition, for no one is as mighty as I. Or 123, but he is going pretty fast away from me.

Q: Why are you awesome?

A: Its in the name :P

Q: What is your main WP goal?
A: To have more keys than A big enough team so I can laugh at them for being puny.

Q: When and why did you join WhatPulse?

A: I joined whatpulse when I found it on cyberscore. There was a link on the frontpage (they have since revamped it) and I was bored. I downloaded it and set up my account with the same name as my cyberscore. I joined the team, but they weren’t very active, and I was playing my ds more than the computer, so I didn’t rack up many keys. I then quit the team, and was looking for a new, active team. I scrolled through the list, and found kongregate, which I already had an account on at the time. It was password protected, so I googled “kongregate whatpulse password” and found the thread. My first post on the kong forums was here. :)

Q: Are you enjoying writing for Kongpulse?

A: Yes, I am. The blog editing (font, size, html) is a pain though, isn’t it? :P

Q: The cake.

A: Is mine.

Q: Any tips?

A: Games like tower of greed, crunchball 3000 and fancypants (152 timetrial record. Beat it) are good for keys, as you don’t remember pressing them that much, and are fun.

inb4tl:dr :P

User of the Week #12: Jazzaboy

So, the User of the Week #12 is Jazzaboy. Jazzaboy is Australian and he joined Kongregate on 6 Aug. 2009. As of 22 Aug. 2010 he's ranked 192^nd. Also, this is my first interview.

- How did you think up of your name?
- Jazza sounded pretty cool and just added the 'boy' on the end for lulz.

- What do you think of Kongregate Elite?
- I think that dividing the team up really ruins what WP is about. It was about coming closer together not breaking us further apart.
- Yeah, there are also two other Kongregate teams (Ninja Chat and Nederlandse Kongregate Clan) and I think it would be better if there was only one, we'd have over 200,000,000 keys more, we'd be closer together and we'd be ranked higher.
- Couldn't agree more.

- What is your goal in WhatPulse?
- Right now, I'm just trying to break the 1mil mark. But my main goal would be to get in the top 10.
- Yeah, and seeing so many people leaving makes it easier to get the the top 10 :P But yeah, 1 million? You'll get there soon.
- 70k away. :3

- Why and when did you join WhatPulse?
- I joined what pulse about 2 months ago. I joined it because I was new to the forums and wanted to meet everyone. It seemed like a good thing and I still enjoy it.

- Who's your main opposition in WhatPulse?
- Theres a lot of people who I like to beat. But most people around my rank are inactive. :o I think prolly Live2Die would be one of my main opposition.

- Who'll win the Australian election?
- I think Julia Gilliard. Because Tony Rabbit annoys me. :o To be honest I like Greens better than both of them.

- Mudkip or Smugleaf?
- Mudkip all the way. ;)

- Any WhatPulse tips or tricks?
- Chatting is my favourite way to get keys. It's easy, fun and doesn't give you a sprained hand.
- Yeah, another tip by the way, being on this IRC channel will give you about 10k a day :o
- xD See works on every chat.

- Great to interview you! :D
- Okay I'm off to dinner. Thanks for the interview.

It was fun to interview Jazzaboy and the next Users of the Week will be tetrismaster and videogames518. If you'd like to be interviewed, just say so in the Kongregate @ WhatPulse thread and maybe we'll do so.

User of the Week #11: notverygood!

Q: How did you think up your name?
A: True story… I was young and stupid, I tried “verygood”. It was taken, of course, so I tried the opposite. Or maybe it’s because I lack creativity, and wanted a name to reflect that. Hmm.

Q: Who do you think is your main opposition?
A: LOLQUE. No don’t put that, I know what you mean. Smookyolo, but only because I want to get in front of him at SOME point.

 

Q: Why are you awesome?
A: I’m notverygood at being awesome. Wait…

Q: What is your main WP goal?
A: Iunno. I guess the whole “beating smook” thing from earlier.

Q: Why and when did you join WP?
A: It was liek October last year when I happened upon the thread. I was impressionable, and it sounded cool. And here we are!

Q: Will you ever update the blog consistently?
A: Maybe. The whole Mardek 3 thing comes in here.

Q: Are you ever going to give selly your address so he can pay you? >.<
A: No, because PayPal.

Q: Any tips?
A: zzzzzhumwhowhaa. Keyspam. StepMania (selly), RoS (MEEEEE) and spamming notepad (VG) are all… relatively good. Until your fingers/arms/wrists die. :(

User of the Week #10: WiiPlayer113

Quick links: ^{Kongregate profile} _{WhatPulse profile}

This week's User of the Week, or UotW (pronounced "wot", "what", I guess), is WiiPlayer113!

Selly gave him the questions and WiiPlayer answered them, but I posted them because selly couldn't.

Question: How did you think up your name?
Which name? My Kongregate name or my WhatPulse name? Wait, they’re the same, because I am just that awesome. (For more information on my awesomeness, please turn your attention to the 3rd question). Anyways, my username derives from the videogame, the Nintendo Wii. I enjoy playing it. Therefore I am the Wii Player. Not a Wii Player, but THE Wii Player. The 113 is my birthday, November 3rd. (Now that you know this I am expecting gifts every year) Now you just push all of that stuff together and you get WiiPlayer113.

Q: Who do you think is your main opposition in the Whatpulse standings?
Probably sellyme. He is waaaaaaaaay far ahead of me, but eventually I shall catch up. I’m hoping opposition means something along the lines of “A person who you want to beat”. I googled opposition and it came up with something about planets.

Q: Why are you awesome?
I am awesome because my mommy tells me I am.

Q: What is your main WP goal?
My main WhatPulse goal is to be #1 on the Kongregate team. Duh. If your goal is to not be #1 then you need to STFU and GTFO. (That sounded kinda mean, I’m sorry) if I can’t get become #1 then I at least want to be part of the Top 25.

Q: Why and when did you join WP?
I joined WhatPulse on November 29th, 2009. I joined WhatPulse because I always like competitions, so I joined this. I knew in the future there would be Head to Head battles, I’m psychic. However, I did “quit” WP for a couple of months for no reason. BUT NOW I AM BACK AND AM READY TO KICK SOME (Censored)!

Q: Will you win selly’s tournament? (This will probably be redundant soon).
Yes. Next question pl0x.

Q: Any tips?
Completely deny your family and friends so you can get as many keys as you can by either playing video games or chatting on Kongregate. Also, I would compete in the competitions in the forums so you can get keys from playing the games over and over again to get a good score. (Also, it is fun competing).

User of the Week #9: Sellyme!

Sellyme is a fanatical Whatpulse user who is essentially in charge on the entire team and thread, as Nabb is lazy. He runs the Whatpulse blog (This!) along with JaumeBG and notverygood and is (apparently) well respected among the Kongpulse community.

Q: How did you think up your name?
A: Well, my initials are "Sel" and that's what most of my friends call me, so I used that. But it wasn't long enough, so I added a "me" at the end. Because I am me. But it STILL wasn't long enough so I added the "ly", reaching the magical 6 character mark grab.com used, and making it roll off the tongue well too. Pretty impressive considering I was 5 at the time I made that account, and most 5 year olds would just make an account called "doodle".

Q: What does it feel like knowing that no matter how much you do for the WP community you'll never become a team mod?
A: It's kind of sucky to tell the truth. I know you're not meant to want to be a moderator, but I can't help but imagine how much easier updating this blog would be if I had all the XML stats, and how much more I could help others from a position of power. Of course, Nabb would never let this happen so we must overthrow him. I mean, uh, we must live with it >.<

Q: Who do you think is your main opposition in the WP rankings?
A: If you asked me this last year, I would have said no-one, as I was at least 5 times faster than everyone else. In February I would have said Sinapi and squall, as in my time off they caught up and started pulsing quicker. Now however, after another load of time off, they have both crafted an impressive lead, and there are almost no people around my current key count who pulse as frequently and as largely as we did. If only...

Q: Why are you awesome?
A: Haven't you looked at the poll results? More than half of voters say they joined WP for that cool sellyme guy. Doesn't that say it all?

Q: Aha! Now you're asking questions! I've waited on you hand and foot for long enough, and now I get my chance to bask in the glorious light of interviewee! How does that feel?
A: Pretty good thanks, because now you're asking questions again. coughidiotcough.

Q: Sunuvabit- I mean, uh, Apart from you, who do you think is the best Kongpulse user?
A: I've got to say it's Sinapi. She pulses gigantic amounts every month, and I could barely keep up with her before I was cut.

Q: What is your main WP goal?
A: To stay in a consistent top 25 position. I've been in the Top 25 on four separate occasions, reaching 21st at one point, only to fall back down after losing internet connection. Only 300k out now though.

Q: Why and when did you join Whatpulse?
A: I saw it in chat one day back in early September, and decided to have a look. I was immediately hooked, and told everyone in every active chat I couls find to join. The team count jumped from 40 to 100 in a day. I then discovered the Kongregate thread on a Google search, posted on the second page of that, and within a week the users were at 150. Today the thread has got nearly 150 pages of posts, and the team has 350 members.

Q: I'm confused here. Who is Sellyme, me or you?
A: I think we both are. I'm confused here too. What's even more confusing is that you have to ask me questions if you are me. Why is that anyway?

Q: I think it's something to do with subconciousness. That craps all messed up. I know the answers, I just can't think of them.
A: Well, if we're the same person, how do I know the answers and you don't?

Q: No idea. Let's ask Jaume, he knows everything.
A: He won't be on for three hours though...

Q: Well, what do we do until then?
A: AHAH! I get the Answers back :P Take that you lying thieving exact duplicate of me!

Q: Well, back on topic, are you ever planning to finish and/or utilize the Kongpulse website?
A: Not really, no. To be entirely honest, I'm planning on finding someone who can code and offloading it onto them. Of course, I'll do all the updates and that (with help from the regs) and I have a few secret ideas, but other than that, I'm probably not going to do anything.

Q: When will it be done?
A: Next Summer.

Q: And what are these secret ideas?
A: Well, one of them is to create a load of flash games designed solely for keyspam. With highscores and everything. But it's not a secret any more! Damn y- uh... me!

Q: Any tips?
A: Yes, but you'll have to tune in every Sunday for my witty and insightful blog posts on how to spam your way to the Top 25!

User of The Week #8: IAmTheCandyman

Interview with IAmTheCandyman

Q: How did you think up your name?
A: Well, I took my middle school nickname “The Candyman” and wanted to turn it into a username when I arrived on Newgrounds, which is where I was before Kong. TheCandyman was taken, so I just made up IAmTheCandyman. In my defense, I was 14. :P


Q: What’s it like being one of the over 80 mods using WhatPulse?
A: It’s nice to know that the ModSquad is doing more than just moderate the chatrooms, but that we’re helping the Kongregate community’s reputation outside of Kongregate.


Q: Do you think there is some kind of correlation or is it just coincidence?
A: That mods are doing WhatPulse? I think that mods are generally chosen because they’re (reasonably) kind and intelligent people, and those sorts of people tend to be interested in participating in studies like that, especially since we’re all so involved in our internet community. So I’d say there’s a correlation between modship and interest in vaguely scholarly pursuits.


Q: Who do you think is your main opposition in the Whatpulse standings?
A: I’d have to say Agent_86, but that’s mostly because he’s the only one who’s really made any sort of move to become any sort of rival. It’s all friendly competition, though!


Q: Why are you awesome?
A: Because IAmTheCandyman. And because the Candyman can.


Q: Apart from you, who do you think is the best Kong WP user?
A: I’d have to say it’s the_squall. He seems to be posting massive jumps in the rankings pretty often!


Q: What is your main WP goal?
A: I’m mostly curious to see how much I actually type, but I’m aiming for the top 25 if I can manage it somehow!


Q: Why and when did you join WP?
A: I joined WP in November 2009, on the suggestion of FappyAlcoholic, though I was having a lot of issues with WP and Win7, so I didn’t really start using it that much until February 2010, when I built my gaming desktop computer, the Bonecrusher.


Q: How many god damn alts has Fappy made to make fun of you?
A: I think he only actually has two; a lot of those are actually mine! Though you’ll never know which…


Q: Any tips?
A: To rule WhatPulse, just keep chatting and gaming and gaming and chatting! That’s how I do it. As for being awesome, be kind. The world is full of too much sadness for those of us with the power to be nice to waste it all.

User of the week #7: JaumeBG

Now this will be a fun one!

Q: How did you think up your name?
A: It’s basically my real life name. My name is Jaume B. G. in real life, so I didn’t put much imagination into that. And in WhatPulse, I tried to put in “JaumeBG”, but it didn’t let me so I added that smiley face, :).

Q: What’s it like working on the blog with notverygood and sellyme?
A: It’s fun, they’re both cool people. It’s an awesome blog.

Q: Do you enjoy it and/or does it feel like work?
A: I enjoy it, but I don’t know why I enjoy it… It’s fun to do because I like stats a lot and if I’m tired of doing it when I’m halfway I just think that I should do it for the keys, haha.

Q: Who do you think is your main opposition in the Whatpulse standings?
A: It used to be Matoking as we were always more or less at the same rank, but I overtook him a while ago and I now have no opposition, I’m not very good at pulsing so a lot of user overtake me in no time… :(

Q: Why are you awesome?
A: I’m just your average Kongregate user, not much particular about me. :P But maybe I’m awesome because I speak three languages fluently.

Q: Apart from you, who do you think is the best Kong WP user?
A: I must say sellyme (ED: <3), Darkruler2005 and Sinapi. Sellyme pulses frequently and he pulses a lot too, he’s also a very nice user! But Darkruler and Sinapi both pulse a lot and they’re very good in getting keys, so as WhatPulse users, they’re very good.

Q: What is your main WP goal?
A: Reach the top 50 to get into those weekly top 50 stats! Even though I can’t even get to the top 100… :/


Q: Why and when did you join WP?
A: In December 2009, and basically because I was seeing that “Kongregate Team @ WhatPulse” thread every day so I decided to check the thread to see what it was all about and I don’t regret it, WhatPulse is an awesome tool and it’s got a nice community in the Kongregate team too. :D

Q: Spain will lose the World Cup.
A: I could talk for hours about football and the World Cup, but I must say Spain has a solid chance of winning the World Cup this year. Great goalkeepers, great defense, good midfielders and very good stikers. We’re one of the only countries who are as good as we are and we have never won a World Cup, along with The Netherlands. Brazil have a high chance of winning too, but I hope they don’t win, if they do they’ll have won 6 times (and I’m sure they’ll win in 2014)! The final will be Spain vs Brazil, and we shall beat them 2-0! (ED: Get real. Australia shall prevail!)

Q: Any tips?

A: I don’t know, just keep typing (and clicking) and play one of those games that require you to spam keys. Chat with your best friends all the time on Kongregate and MSN and write emails (through it’s not very effective for me, it might be for you!)

Great interview, selly! :D (ED: Double <3)

User of the Week 6: HappyAlcoholic

Okay, turns out this UoTW is actually HappyAlcoholic, not JaumeBG, due to communication issues. JaumeBG will be next week. Anyway, here you go!

Q: How did you think up your name?
A: I’m a happy person, and I was drinking a lot at the time.

Q: Pulse more.
A: no u

Q: Who do you think is your main opposition in the Whatpulse standings?
A: The Juggernaut, bitch!

Q: Why are you awesome?
A: Because yes.

Q: Apart from you, who do you think is the best Kong WP user?
A: Whoever’s at the top. (Can’t be bothered checking)

Q: What is your main WP goal?
A: To get lots of key clicks?

Q: Why and when did you join WP?
A: November of 2,oo9, I think. And because I wanted to help Kongregate’s team.

Q: Incest or Wincest?
A: Both.

Q: Any tips?
A: On… incest? I dunno. Have a hot sister like I do?


...

That is the worst interview I've ever seen, and I interviewed shadow29live :P

Anyway, the schedule

UoTW 7: JaumeBG
UoTW 8: IAmTheCandyman
UoTW 9: Glomple
UoTW 10: ???????

Guess who the tenth user is to recieve a prize!

User of the Week #5: shadow29live

Our interview this week is with a real life friend of mine: shadow29live! Now since he stabbed me (twice!) I'm going to make fun of everything he says. All text not in bold is unedited, he's just really that stupid.

Q: How did you think up your name?

A: I didn’t think up my username i just used the one i
use for everything, which is also my email. [ED:Where did you get the your e-mail address from?]

Q: Why do your pulses vary so much (i.e. from 2k in
a day to 40k)

A: My pulses vary because I pulse 1 day and next
time i might not pulse for 5 day[ED: *facepalm*]

Q: Who do you think is your main opposition in the
Whatpulse standings?

A:whoever is right in front of me on the standing and
my friends who also use WP [ED: Thanks Capt. Obvious]

Q: Why are you awesome?

A: I admit I am not awesome but i want to see the
look on peoples faces when I pass them [ED: That's good enough for me!]

Q: Apart from you, who do you think is the best Kong WP user?

A: As i said before im not a good WP user but I think
whoever is in the lead is the best WP user [ED: Once again, I am astounded by your deep insights into life]

Q: What is your main WP goal?

A: To overtake the writer of this blog [ED: You shall perish slowly and painfully]

Q: Why and when did you join WP?

A: I joined WP to 1)count my clicks and keys and 2)
because friends gave me the idea. I cant remember
when i joined you might want to look at my profile

Q: What does the scouter say about his power
level?

A: sorry I dont know what you mean

Q: Any tips?

A:Just keep typing [ED: *sigh*... I give up.]

User of the Week #4: the_squall/squall7775

Q: How did you think up your name?

A: Well, some people know me as squall7775. That is also my Xbox Live gamer tag. People would just call me squall or the squall on there so Kong the_squall came to be.

Q: How do you manage to consistently pulse just before sellyme gets in front of you, do you stalk him or something?

A: Not entirely. I learned from a mistake of losing 4,000,000 WhatPulse Keys to pulse more often. I guess I just type so much that I somehow manage to always get in front of him.

Q: What does it feel like to be JUST in front of the Kongpulse co-ordinator?

A: Well, I suppose it can be quite intimidating? I never know if they are going to just get angry at me for always pulsing and somehow managing to slip ahead of them time after time. To those who pick out the music reference, kudos.

 Q: Why are you awesome?

A: I’m asked this time and time again. I only really wish I knew the answer. I tend to just be myself and chill. I guess people think that’s pretty awesome.

Q: Apart from you, who do you think is the best Kong WP user?

A: I thought Ducklette was a pretty great Kong WP user. She had some really fast movement in the ranks. And yes, that’s what she did say

Q: What is your main WP goal?

A: I don’t really feel like I have a main goal with WhatPulse. I just like to type often and keeping track of it makes it all the more fun, I suppose. If I’d have to give an actual goal it would be to reach 100,000,000 keys.

Q: Why and when did you join WP?

A: I joined WhatPulse because a friend sent it to me via MSN. I took a few looks over it and decided it was interesting enough to download to my laptop. I think I was correct because now I’m part of the Kongregate  WhatPulse community! The date I joined was 2009-08-25.

Q: Is the cake a lie?

A: Well, it’s debatable. But, I’d have to go with the cake is probably a lie.

Q: Any tips?

A: Just be true to yourself. If you aren’t yourself then who are you? Sorry I don’t really have any tips for the WP’ers out there! It’s just too hard to think of tips on how often to type.

User of The Week #2: Cryptosporidian

Today's interview is with a well known and respected Kongregate user, being a mod, not to mention the inventor of everlasting textwalls and the subsequent acronym "tl;dr". Here is our chat with him (or her :P).

Q: How did you think up your name?

A: *Digs through files* Ah, here we go~ Basically, I came on Kongregate shortly after beating the Destroy All Humans series, a game which I still love quite a bit and would never hesitate playing again. The main character’s name was Cryptosporidium, and the ring of the name greatly appealed to me. Nevertheless, there was one problem, which google gladly revealed to me upon my searching the name. Not even did my favorite videogame protagonist come up, the entire first page was a list of hits about ‘Cryptosporidium, the intestinal bacteria.’ I really, really did not want to give up such a cool name, yet at the same time, I didn’t want to be named after something that festers in someone’s gut and lives off of various materials which pass through. And so, I changed the last two letters, and boom! Same sound, no longer a creepy foodborne parasite. Opening up Kongregate, I typed this in, and soon the little red-eyed Cryptosporidian popped out in all it’s noobishness, ready for the weeks and months to come



Q: And that was a good thing, as many people have flamed you about your name anyway. So, how do you consistently pulse 800k pulses without the urge to press the little “W”?

A: First, being the complete meanieface that I am, I choose to tear apart your question by pointing out it’s many fallacies. First and foremost, I have never pulsed 800,000 or more keys at a time- My record was my last pulse, at 795,333 keys. Furthermore, the average of each of my pulses is actually approximately 391,000. Through they have been consistently getting larger and larger, I have nowhere near come to do such a high number with any sort of consistency. Secondly, it’s not possible to pulse 800,000 pulses at once. you can only pulse one pulse at a time [EDITORS NOTE: Actually, you are wrong there. There is a glitch in WP allowing multiple pulses at once. The most so far has been 17, but 800,000 is theoretically possible]. And finally, I have the urge to press the little W all the time, because it gives me a dropdown menu to access my geek window from, to check the amount of pulses I have. But, to get at your actual question, to me a huge pulse is much more epic than a teeny one or even a medium-sized one, and as a result I strive to build up epic amounts of pulseage.



Q: Why are you awesome?

A: No trying to force me to be a narcissist <3 Everyone is awesome in someone’s eyes for totally different reasons, any justifications I might give for my supposed awesomeness certainly will not hold out across the board, and are far from universal. I am awesome if you believe me to be awesome based on those characteristics you see in me that make you think I’m awesome. ‘Nuff said.

Q: Apart from you, who do you think is the best Kong WP user?

A:I’m not the best Kongregate WhatPulse user in the first place. But given my Epic-WhatPulse-User-Criteria, combined with amazing Mathy-Sciency skillz...
Formula: User Rating = Coolness to Hotness Ratio * Activity in artificial units of time * PulseSize(Rank - Letters in username)
This is rewritten as: uR = C:H * A * ps(r - L)
Given: I am the second coolest whatpulse user EVAR.
Given: My uR is 594
Therefore: Find user with uR over 73
Hypothesis: Evilducks is the best whatpulse user
Equation: uR = 5/.5 * 2.3 A.U.T. * 2.6(19-9)
uR = 10 * 2.3 * 26
uR = 598
My hypothesis has been proven with rock solid evidence in the form of indisputable math.

Q: What is your main WP goal?

A: First place is always something nice to aspire to, but given that it would take years to acquire that many millions of keystrokes, I think I’ll currently keep my sights on making it to, and staying in the top 25. After that the top 20, then the top 15, and so on.

Q: Why and when did you join WP?

A: Selly, the evil KangarooSquirrel from the sunny side, badgered me over and over again with repeated fits of groveling in order to finally convince skeptical ‘ole me to sign up. [EDITORS NOTE: It's true, sadly...]

Q: Any tips?

A: I’ll tip you $2.50 if you actually read my entire ramblings, consisting of minor yellow brick textwalls, a snazzy equation, and some other meaningless garble that you might actually care about! So, yes, i have this tip, but it’s only one, and next time you don’t have to ask so brashly! >:O [EDITORS NOTE: GIVE ME MAH MONIEZ!]

User of The Week #1: evilducks.

 evilducks, a WP user with 1,222,080 keys was the lucky first User of the Week. He loves games, which is what gives him his impressive 0.47 kps rate, and is currently holding 1st place for the coveted "Best Newcomer" award. Here's a bit of Q&A I did with him.

Q: How did you think up your name?

A:  I got my name from Eddie Izzard

Q: How did you get 97k in 15 hours on the 30th of November?

A: Hacks, I mean playing Combat Arms!
  
Q: Why are you awesome?

 A: I like turtles.

Q: Apart from you, who do you think is the best Kong WP user?


A: Nab, because his pulses are OVER 9000 each pulse.


Q: What is your main WP goal?

A: To be in the top 25 at least, then go after Nab.

Q: Why and when did you join WP?

A: Thousands of years ago! On November 17th.

Q: Any tips?

A: Pulse every key and click. Just to make sellyme miserable. :D (Editors Note: Do it and you shall face my WRATH!)